R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I'm beginning to realize what lies at the root of most (all?) of my anger and resentment. Sense of not being appreciated. 

My background, my achievements (meagre ones, but still there), my proven abilities... not appreciated by prospective employers.

Loyalty, understanding, unwavering support, trust; everything I can give in a relationship- not appreciated by the person I want to be with.

Those two are probably the biggest sources of validation for anyone. And when they fail... Oy vey.

I know that currently even I can't bring myself to appreciate me very much.  I hate feeling like a leech, just sponging off the state benefits. I want to work! I want to utilize my talents in a way that contributes to the society! I want to pay taxes so that I can go back to making fun of people like me!

Even I'm starting to question whether I actually have anything to offer anyone. And the longer the situation continues like this...the more difficult it's going to be to prove anything different. And once I've lost the faith in my abilities, how am I going to be able to sell them to the prospective employers? 


How long before I'm one of the homeless drunks in my neighbourhood? Wouldn't that be a sight: a Louis Vuitton-bag lady complaining about the poor vintage of her bottle of anti-freeze...