I'm half a litre of blood lighter. I just might fit into those skinny jeans after all...!
In a bid to continue my charitable pursuits I donated blood. My last attempt wasn't a very successful one: my arms simply refused to let go of any elixir of life. Turned out that (in addition to my personality and self-control) also my veins are difficult. There goes a promising career as a heroin-addict down the drain...
Just thinking of how many people that bag of my finest O+ will save sends smug shudders down my spine. My God, I'm a good person! I certainly hope those people are going to be worthy. Like someone who only buys genuine Louis Vuittons and had a sailing accident. Oh yeah, I'd give them some... An unemployed council house-resident who got behind the wheel after twelve too many? NEEEXT!
I had to fill a questionnaire which at times was rather amusing. Am I currently intoxicated or under the influence of any other illegal substance? Erm... no. If I were, would donating blood be on my list of things to do? No! I'd be dancing topless on the table or having sex with the hot doorman. (Or I'd be making 1,5 hour-long intercontinental phone calls about baobab trees. That too has been known to happen...) I'd definitely not have needles the size of lamp posts driven into my elusive veins.
At times the questions were just... evil. Like the one about having sex with a man who'd had sex with a man. Erm... well, not in the past 9 years... Or the one about whether or not I'd had sex with someone new in the past 4 months. Trust me- I didn't need a moment to think about that one. I also didn't need to be reminded of that one...
Turned out there are plenty of other things I haven't done lately. Like having cancer, being pregnant, doing intravenous drugs, being treated for hives, living in the malaria zone, getting a piercing, having blood clots and getting a tattoo.
I knew things had been a bit quiet of late but...damn! I've got to start happening!
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