Hot in the city

Now, I like summer. I can't get enough of the warmth and the sunshine. And I love how it changes people: for a few short months my grumpy countrymen are transformed into smiling, happy individuals. But it also adversely affects their judgment in the sartorial stakes... And nowhere did it become more excruciatingly evident than on the recent trip.

Just because you can (barely) fit into something, doesn't mean you should wear it. If I want to see a camel toe, I'll book a ticket to Egypt.

There's time an place for everything. Everything but a beer-bellied sun-burnt man going topless.

And as for the prostitute-inspired look (when did they become style icons?!), complete with 7-inch perspex stripper heels... I don't know what the right time or place is, but I'm fairly sure it's not right before me in a queue to the deli at 11am.

And really... I understand the allure of open-toe sandals. I do. What I don't understand are the unkempt, discoloured, fungus-ridden toes poking out of those sandals. Please, do something about yourselves, people! You service your boat before taking it out after long winter- service yourselves too!

And at the opera... Mon Dieu. People really don't know how to dress these days. Jeans are not the appropriate attire. Nor are the hiking sandals (though the women had charmingly attempted to alter the look more suitable for evening by removing the tube socks they wear them with during the day...) And as for the bags... Well, those ghastly sporty nylon messenger bags are best left with... sporty messengers? 

Uhh uhh. Clothes might not a man maketh, but it's a damn good start. 

Take Osama Bin Laden for instance. Had he shaved that horrid beard and done something with his hair (nice, short cut, perhaps a deep-conditioning treatment and a high-shine-colour rinse to finish it off?), ditched the turban and changed into a well-cut Armani-suit... He would have been hot. 

Shame about those silly, mass murderous views. I might have even gone out with him. I mean, compared to some of the weirdos out there... he doesn't actually seem all that bad.