The "others"

When I turned 30, I was summoned for an "age checkup". Right, because turning 30 on itself just wasn't traumatic enough...

In order to establish my stress levels, the doctor started asking about my life outside work. She asked if I lived alone. I said "yes", and she concluded "oh, so you're not in a relationship then?". I said that I actually was, but that we didn't live together. She asked how long we'd been together (the chutzpah on this woman!). I said 4,5 years. "And you're not even living together yet?!" she went on to exclaim. Uncomfortable by now (how was any of this her business anyway?!) I tried to make a joke of it. "Well, he is a middle-aged workaholic commitment-phobe so we've not really gotten there yet" I said. She nodded understandingly until all of a sudden she leaned back, raised her eyebrows, smiled mischievously and started nodding even more vigorously. "Ah" she said, "Now I see: so he's already married!". As far as embarrassing doctor's visits go, this one took the prize. Me? As the other woman? That'll be the day...

But I have been thinking about the concept of otherness a lot recently. The whole idea of a nation-state is a fairly recent construction. We've read how the idea of drawing lines on maps in order to establish the borders of regions puzzle the Native Americans and the Africans. Yet, they too routinely waged war against other tribes. So, perhaps the concept of "us" and "them" is something that is innate to us? 

We define us a part of a certain group and differentiate "us" from the "the others". While that might be perfectly fine and understandable as a tool of comprehending and compartmentalizing the world, it should not lead to assumptions of our implicit superiority over "the other" (Jesus, would you look at the words I'm using! Could they be any grander?). However, it should not lead into viewing "the other" as a threat to our survival; danger to our way of living, should it?

I'm thinking about race riots in Tel Aviv, declaring the Africans as "the cancer  of the society";  the asylum seekers and other migrants making their way to our parts of the world and the conditions and prejudice they face here. At the same time the right-wing parties are gaining more and more popularity in Europe- in their rhetoric emphasizing the divide between "us" and "them" even further. We are the results of millions of years of evolutionary success and this is the best we can do? Why does it seem we're taking steps back as opposed to moving forward which is what evolving is all about?

In the name of forcing myself out there I attended a festival celebrating multiculturalism. And what a festival it was. Hoardes of people of all skin colours, religious and ethnic backgrounds mingling together in sunshine - getting to know each other's cultures, sampling foods from countries they'd never even heard of and enjoying music happily mixing different traditions.

For a moment the world seemed like the place it's supposed to be.