Downton Abbey was set to continue the bridal bliss started in the season opening episode. This time lady Edith, unlucky in love for so long (a.k.a. waiting for years for her emotionally autistic love to get over himself), was supposed to walk down the aisle. UNTIL THE RETARD LEFT HER AT THE ALTAR.
I on the other hand don't have a job, husband or manor. My life is really not working out.
I got thinking about reincarnation that day I was touring that manor. Even if I fail miserably in this life, I could really make it big in the next one! I do have some issues with the whole rebirth though. For one, there are an inordinate number of people claiming they used to be Joan of Arc. Or Marie Antoinette. And while numbers are not my strongest suite, that just somehow doesn't add up.
And I can't even imagine the agony of someone, who, a couple of lifetimes from now, goes to see a psychic, only to be told that in her/his previous life (s)he used to be an unemployed 33-year-old spinster with a minor drinking problem and a maxed-out VISA. Poor sod.
My GBFF dragged me out of the comfort of my bed and plied me with champagne. "Yes, you want him but he doesn't want you so get over it" were his words. How can you not love that sort of total lack of emotional depth? As if it were really that easy. Though I need to get out there in the world- in the time I've been in hiding they've come up with yet another iPhone. And a new dance.
And if the world is ready to go mad over a chubby Korean, galloping around dressed as a Bar Mitzva boy from circa 1973- I should be ready for the world.
However, having exhausted my own mental reserves, I decided to look somewhere else for advice as to how. I contacted a psychic for a reading. The ad promised to tell me exactly who I'll marry with a whopping 98% accuracy. She was advertising on Facebook and let's face it: psychics don't get much more credible than that.
She senses a "great emotional disturbance". Good for her. So do I. And she also picked up on "mental fatigue that has pushed me to wonder the relationship with my loved one". So far a full 100% accuracy. My problems "could dissipate on their own in the next few weeks", but if only I whipped out my credit card, she just might be able to expedite things...
My GBFF dragged me out of the comfort of my bed and plied me with champagne. "Yes, you want him but he doesn't want you so get over it" were his words. How can you not love that sort of total lack of emotional depth? As if it were really that easy. Though I need to get out there in the world- in the time I've been in hiding they've come up with yet another iPhone. And a new dance.
And if the world is ready to go mad over a chubby Korean, galloping around dressed as a Bar Mitzva boy from circa 1973- I should be ready for the world.
However, having exhausted my own mental reserves, I decided to look somewhere else for advice as to how. I contacted a psychic for a reading. The ad promised to tell me exactly who I'll marry with a whopping 98% accuracy. She was advertising on Facebook and let's face it: psychics don't get much more credible than that.
She senses a "great emotional disturbance". Good for her. So do I. And she also picked up on "mental fatigue that has pushed me to wonder the relationship with my loved one". So far a full 100% accuracy. My problems "could dissipate on their own in the next few weeks", but if only I whipped out my credit card, she just might be able to expedite things...
I wouldn't want anyone to be reincarnated as me either.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks to you, I've got that damn song stuck in my head again, after spending most of the day trying to get rid of it.