I'm a such mess. My drinking is out of control. As is my smoking. The bruise that I have on my thigh that was purple is now black. All this blogging has given me a first degree burn on the other thigh where I rest my laptop. I could weave an Afghan rug out of the hair growing out of my legs. I know the lyrics to all Celine Dion songs by heart. My roots are worse than Kunta Kinte's.
Even my relationship with the pizza delivery people has hit the rocks: last two times they messed up my order and delivered the wrong pizza. Which actually meant I got to keep both pizzas- the wrong and the right one. Which means my diet is out of control. Since they were both family-size ones...
Everything else around me is crumbling down too. The laptop is going out of business. It overheats dangerously and half of the keys don't work. Which is sad, considering that my chosen language is not Croatian- I actually need the vowels too. My TV makes a weird sound that TVs do when they're about to explode. Now I've broken my washing machine by feeding it two underwires (YES! I know now! LINGERIE BAGS!)
I can't wait to get home at the end of each day so I can change into The Man's old rugby shirt ( that too is falling apart) and cry myself to sleep. What a loser I've become. If I saw myself on Bravo, the verdict would be instant. MAKEOVER!
Perhaps your laptop is like mine... At semi-regular intervals it comes up with a plot that would allow it to shuffle this mortal coil (or motherboard). However, this piece of electronics also seems to have more lives than the average feline. If it seems to overheat, have you tried using an air canister to clear out some of the dust that tends to accumulate in laptops?
ReplyDeleteerm... no I haven't. Mostly because I'm such a retard when it comes to technology. I've never even heard of air canisters. Tear gas canisters, yes, MANY times. But thanks for the tip- I just might do that!
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