Deadly sins part 5: Vanity

This is apparently Devil's favourite sin. 

I never thought of myself particularly vain, as the perhaps overtly self-deprecating way I describe myself shows. Fine, so I can't have phone-sex if my hair is dirty, but that's just good manners, right?

However, I've just discovered something that has made me question this perception. Remember how I noticed how my shoes had started rejecting my feet? I thought that maybe that was a sign of my feet getting fat too. Turned out it wasn't. I'm developing a "deformity characterized by lateral deviation of the great toe". Yes, dear readers. That's a ...deep breaths... even deeper breaths... bunion. 

This is what Google has to say about it: "Tight-fitting shoes, especially high-heel and narrow-toed shoes increase the risk for bunion formation". AAAAAAAARGH! That description covers every single pair of my 56 best friends. Wait.. is this some kind of a divine revenge for my borderline-blasphemic blog entries? Is God smiting me?

According to medical sources bunions are also "reported to be more prevalent in people who wear shoes than in barefoot people". So...I'm being punished for not being a Kenyan bushman? I live in Europe! I need shoes!

Apparently since it's still early days, I might make a difference. By a change in footwear. That's sensible, flat, wide-fitting shoes. The kind that nuns, traffic police and Rosie O'Donnell wear. 

So, what did I do? Did I prioritize my health and well-being? Of course not. I bought a pair of narrow, pointy-toed shoes I obviously couldn't really even afford. But they're yellow, have a bow and are just about the prettiest shoes I've ever seen. 

I might be headed for a very painful future, but at least I'll be pretty when doing it. 

Ah, vanity. My favourite sin...