I had a nasty fall during my birthday celebrations resulting in a bruise the size of Nigeria on my thigh. If only falling out of love was as painless... And then there are the post-break-up-choices. The list is endless! How long are you going to wait until doing something stupid about your hair ? ( appointment booked for next week) When are you going to get off your lazy, heart-broken, pizza-munching arse and do something useful? (a yoga mat purchased for the exercises detailed on the Pilates DVD I've yet to remove from its protective wrapper it came in.When I bought it. 6 years ago.) And the tough one: when are you going to give up on hoping he´s going to crawl back to you and come off the Pill since you're never, EVER going to be naked in front of someone ever again?
Yes, you guessed it. The radio silence continues. He himself says he's a man of few words but this is just stupid.
I genuinely thought he had reached some sort of an epiphany- that he had realized he didn't want to lose me and was ready to fight for me. It would seem I was wrong. He just needed to have his ego stroked. And I obliged, telling him how I loved him and couldn't imagine not doing so. It was supposed to make him feel safe so that he could open up and have faith in us. Instead it just made him feel safe, allowing him to go back to taking me for granted.
I'm so tired of being jerked around like this. I'm so sick of letting that emotionally autistic freak do this to me, over and over again. Then I got thinking. What if he actually is an autistic?
Seeing his panic-stricken eyes dart when I was trying to have a conversation was like watching John McEnroe at Wimbledon. On crack.
He was useless with PDAs that were not hand-held computer-like devices
ME! I'm interesting!
Oh, no sireey. I kept having the same conversation for 6,5 years. Only to realize he wasn't listening to any of it.
See before
The word "no" comes to mind. As in no, I don't want to marry you.
It would be a lot more bearable than accepting the fact that I'm delusional and desperate and imagined we had a great thing going on-something worth holding on to and fighting for.
Oh, and as for the Pill... Couldn't bring myself to do it. And not just because of the hormonal acne it would have induced. I just started another package.Which means...that he has another 3 weeks to have that epiphany. What's another 3 weeks...?
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