Now that we've been pampered with this summery weather, I hate my internship even more. As I drag myself home after yet another day of answering the phones and shuffling papers, I really don't need to see people sunbathing and picnicing in parks.
Plus everyone around me is talking about holidays. Should we go island hopping in Croatia? Surfing in Thailand? Scuba diving in Tel Aviv? You're asking me? What you should do is shut the %#*! up!
I won't have one this year because A) I'm stuck with the internship that doesn't come with any holiday time and B) I'm stuck with an unpaid internship so I don't even have money to go anywhere.
My internship finishes at the end of July, so unless I actually find a real job, I'll have August off. And at one point I was actually thinking of telling The Man to stay away from Southern Europe and invading the villa that I still have the keys to. I figured I deserved some sort of a partial custody. Plus there is the fact that a couple of his ex-girlfriends got to holiday there while we were still together. So...surely I too warrant a couple of unsupervised visits?
I love that place. And the more I thought about it, the better the idea sounded. (don't remind me on the ideas others had for the house...) And having the locks changed seemed like an even better idea. But I know I couldn't. Everything about that house is just so him. I know I make fun of it as the place where the Scandinavian design goes to die (like Florida to the Jews) but I do love that place. And it's got him written all over it.
So... I sent the keys back. With a note thanking for all the wonderful memories there (manners, people! Hasn't Bree van der Kamp taught you anything?). Hasta la vista, my Spanish dream.
They say if you love someone, set them free. What I want to know is who "they" are. They just seem to have a smug answer for absolutely everything. But... if I really love him, then I should want him to be happy. And if he isn't that with me...then I should let him go so that he can meet that elusive person with whom he is. And be happy when he does, right?
Well, as far as personal growth goes, I'm not quite there yet. But perhaps a holiday away would give me the distance to process that one too. So, where will it be? Hitchhiking in Hungary? Kicking back in Kosovo? Slumming it in Serbia? Backpacking through Bosnia?
If I sell one of my kidneys, those just might be within my budget. But as a woman, travelling alone, many of those places would probably be best avoided. See, if anything were to happen... whose name do you think is listed as the beneficiary on my insurances? Yep. The Man.
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