It's a month until The Man's birthday and once more I'm faced with that daunting question: what do you get for a man who already has everything?
Over the years I and my VISA have come up with some elaborate answers. One year there was a vineyard in France. Not an entire one, obviously, but a share in one that, at the end of the harvest would result in a box of your very own wine delivered to your door. You know, in a way that some people adopt those school kids in Africa. Only they aren't greeted by a pee-smelling parcel at your door they way we were. That was some of the...funkiest Chardonnay I've ever had...
Then, another year I booked us in for a weekend at Grand Hotel in Stockholm. I'm telling you, it's the residence of choice for the likes of Madonna, and for a reason too. I loved it. And for the prices I paid for his spa treatments I should hope The Man did too...
I've also treated him to lavish dinners and skydiving. I've given him eBay gift certificates and even started his own microcredit empire. But now I'm officially out of ideas.
A nice watch? I could never afford a nice enough- we're talking about a man who's already gone through a Cartier and a Vacheron Constantin. I know he dreams of a boat, but true to his style wants one of those penis enhancement yachts the harbour rents for which even he can't afford.
"It's the thought that counts" means just about as much as the other age-old adage of "it's not you, it's me". So... I'm going to have to come up with something fabulous. Such as...a threesome? And to make it extra fabulous... I could always be neither one of those girls!
Reading this makes me glad that my Yorkshireman isn't fussy when it comes to gifts.
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