Going back up North was great in a sense that it gave me the chance to get together with some dear friends. There's something so comforting about sharing your woes with people who've known you for almost all your life. I'm very privileged to have people like that in my life- at this age (she said, with the disillusioned rawness in her voice, in a way only 33 years can provide...) you just don't make friends like that anymore.
While one lot was busy planning my wedding to The Man, another friend wasn't quite as... accommodating. As is expected after a couple of bottles of Cab Sauv, some home truths also started flowing. But I wasn't prepared for the extent of her dislike of The Man.
Somehow I always imagined that once we meet The One, he'll love our friends and the feeling will be mutual. But the thing is- very few of my friends have ever actually even met him. Most of the time he's been living abroad and even our meetings have been scheduled around his work- taking place in hotels all over Europe. He doesn't come see me, which I sort of understand. I have a tiny flat which means there's nowhere for me to escape in the middle of the night once he starts with his snoring. But it does bother me that my friends and him- the two most important parts of my life are virtual strangers to each other.
And leave it to my friend not to stop there. She even tried to set me up with other guys. I've never cheated and actually feel quite proud of that. I can't even imagine how hurt I'd be should I ever be cheated on, so I'd never inflict that kind of pain on anyone else. But I'm increasingly starting to see exactly how outdated my views are. Pathetic, even?
As much as I tried to write it all off as them just not knowing The Man well enough I couldn't help but wonder if I do either? I'm social, he's socially autistic. And it's not even an age thing, as he's always been that withdrawn, but is he really too old for me? The age difference is not going to disappear, quite the opposite. It's only going to magnify as years go by. And that's not the way things are supposed to go, right? Me abandoning my friends in favour of the reclusive world of just the two of us- surely he's supposed to make the effort to come out of his shell and embrace having so many new people welcoming him into their lives?
After all- his Mum finds me "delightful" and after all the time I've spent with her, that's only appropriate. Shouldn't my family and friends have the same chance- actually spend time with him and then decide he's an obnoxious, insufferable git who doesn't deserve me?
No comments:
Post a Comment