Can't work, won't work

So... applications 80-88 sent out. Number of job interviews to come out of them- zero. Which is convenient since that's how I feel. A big, fat zero.

I am trying to remain positive- after all, if Anna Wintour, notorious for her total lack of interpersonal skills (seriously, it's as if she's had them surgically removed along with her varicose veins- the woman once reportedly made her staff carry her down the stairs in order to avoid having to share a lift...) can be nominated as a US ambassador, then surely I, too, must stand a chance at... well, something.

My sisters are rallying up and trying to find me anything. And I mean anything. The latest link my sister sent me was looking for a "good for nothing bum". And even for that I lacked the vital skills. 

Whereas she clearly has already figured out what I'm good for (erm... nothing),  the other one, along with the rest of the world, is still trying to figure out what that is. She can't even figure out which section on the Job Centre's website to start looking for. Then again, neither do I at this point.

Scientific and humanistic field?

Business and commerce?

Fishing and agricultural industry?

Administration and IT?

Transportation and logistics?

"Well, surely it's not Building and mining industry?" she asked me, exasperated. And then it hit me. Perhaps that's it. Where else am I going to find openings for gold-diggers?

But even that didn't work out. With my lack of previous knowledge on drilling oil (Hey, I watched Dallas! The original series!) or extensive engineering experience (What?! I've engineered an entire relationship in my head!) my skills are not in particular demand in that department either...