My thoroughly-documented sentiments about the medical professionals extend to dentists too. The most prominent emotion here is fear.
Debilitating fear to be precise. Dialling their number alone reduces me to tears. Entering the office makes me shake and stutter. Remember that scene from Exorcist? That's how my eyes start rolling in my head as they're desperately trying to scan the quickest way out.
So, it doesn't come as a surprise that it's been over that recommended year since my last check-up. It's been 2. That's a lie. It's been 3. OK, that's not true either. It's been 4. Fine, 5.
In my defence I do have a rigorous brush-floss-mouthwash-eat gum after every meal- routine that I stick to with devotion that makes Tom Cruise look lightweight. So, on dental terms my life should be ok.
My fear isn't helped by the horror stories of my friends and family. My dad had most of his back teeth pulled out in his youth as apparently that was the cure for tooth ache at the time (in the middle ages?). My cousin had to have her wisdom teeth extracted and they had to cut her cheek open to get it out. The Man had root canal a couple of years back and for weeks afterwards I was tweezing out pieces of the bone that they had forgotten there. FORGOTTEN? I know they've passed a law in Spain that bans driving drunk but surely there's something similar for operating dentistry machinery too??
I did encounter rather a novel approach to dentist visits on 10 Years Younger the other day. There was a woman (a doctor no less!) who, about 30 years ago, had had all her teeth pulled out and dentures made to save her the trouble of ever having to go see dentist again.
Drastic? Crazy even? Sure. But undeniably efficient. But since taking that kind of measures would actually require a trip to dentist, I think I'll have to come up with something else.
So... if an Apple a day keeps the doctor at bay... Perhaps investing in an iPad and iPhone to complement my iPod will do the same for the dentist...?
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