Because everyone knows someone that fell in love on JDate

By accident I found some hidden message folder on Facebook. In there were 2 messages from "decent, Christian men" who were very taken with my profile and "my passion". My passion? Perhaps they didn't realize that's quite different from that of the Christ...

My passions include football and food and fashion and fu... well, suffice to say that the letter "f" features heavily on that list. Jesus had quite different ideas for fun...

I don't understand what it is with these Christians. Is this how they meet people? By approaching strangers online? Why can't they just leave that to serial-killing rapist-pervs ! That's how they prey! I thought the Christian way was way more wholesome! And what is it about me? Do I give out wrong kind of signals? I'm not looking for a good Christian, I'm looking for a bad Jew (that way I'd get to keep my bacon and eat it) !

I once joined JDate. That's where Jewish singles meet, fall in love and marry. I was instantly approached by a London-based divorcé. He was HOT. And upon learning I was into football offered to take me to a match. Of Chelsea FC. So, that was pretty much the end of that.

I was also contacted by 2 men from my own country. This I didn't expect, seeing how impossible it is to find Jewish men there. The first one was a single dad in his forties with "passion for trains". Unless there's a new kinky sub-culture in town, I'm fairly sure he was actually referring to locomotives and such. Which is fine. If that's what you're into. Which I'm not. 

The other was looking for someone who was "willing to dedicate her life to Jesus". What on earth did he think the "J" in the JDate stood for???

According some surveys approximately 12 per cent of the people on JDate are not actually Jewish- they're just looking for a Jewish mate. Who would have thought "Jewish" was going to become the new "tall, dark and handsome with GSOH"! Even more surprising are the results of a recent survey on the New York Jewry. Apparently  5 per cent of the people who identified themselves as Jewish had not been born to Jewish parents or even converted. That means that in addition to the kreplach-consuming, Woody Allen- worshipping, Saks-shopping actual Jews there are are whopping 77 000 pseudo-Jewish New Yorkers out there! 

New York, New York. The veritable pot of gold at the end of the dating rainbow. If I were a rich man, that's where I too would  go.

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find and catch me a catch..."