For the first time I've been trying to watch the Olympics. And I'm surprised by all the things they have there.
That got me thinking. Perhaps I should try harder leaving my mark in history? Maybe there's something I could do to make my country proud of dishing out the dole, keeping me in my Louis Vuittons?
The next summer Games will be held in 4 years by which time I'll be 37. So, in case I really want to compete in the Olympics, that would probably be my last shot. Now I just need to find a sport where I can reach Olympian level in just 4 years without the total lack of any discernible athletic talent getting in the way.
So let's see... Any kind of running is out of the question. I don't like sweating. As is anything else that requires bouncing. There isn't a sport bra in the world that would provide the kind of industrial strength support needed for that (my bras could double as tents for little people's summer camps).
Seeing how in addition to athletic talent I also lack the athletic physique, anything with skimpy outfits is a no-no. So that rules out gymnastics, swimming and beach volleyball.
My anger management issues make me rather an undesirable candidate for martial arts.
Basically I'm left with either equestrian sports or shooting. Considering I have the hand-eye-coordination and concentration span of a carrot, I should probably pursue equestrianism. And why not? Everything about the sport has an air of luxury; unparalleled upper class country pursuits.
I could do that. I should do that! Now, does anyone have a spare horse just lying around?
Four words: Shock Absorber Level 4. That's my go-to bra when I need to keep my double dees completely immobile. Seriously, my breasts don't move a single milimetre in any direction in those bad boys.
ReplyDeleteCrikey! Back when I got mine they only went up to level 3. And that still didn't make exercising enjoyable to a point that I would have actually continued...
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