Between engagements

Sooo... I'm not entirely sure where that phone call leaves me. Practically engaged? Almost married? Mind you- I haven't even had the courage to update my Facebook relationship status. Complicated? In a relationship? Uhh uhh. Decisions, decisions...

As hopeful as I (once again) feel, I'd better not get too giddy just yet. I've been known to do that before... Even then I was convinced we we're finally on the same page until turned out that we we're not even reading the same book!

We've been (again) talking a lot about marriage and why it's so important to me. And I have (again) been pointing out that I don't want to force him into it; that I want to do it with someone who wants it too. I swear- occasionally this feels like trying to educate a special needs kid!

And then he revealed something. It's not the marriage bit apparently that he has a problem. It's the wedding. 

He says he feels uncomfortable about the idea of seeing his side of the church being so empty. He's ashamed that he, at this point in his life, simply has no friends left. That either their lives have taken such drastically different turns that they no longer have much in common or his incessant travelling simply won't allow him the time to nurture those relationships.

Who would have thought. 

Better not get too excited though. I'm not going to believe anything until he makes a total ass out of himself by getting down one knee. God knows I'm not going to do that again...

But just to be on the safe side... And because it was half price off and made financial sense which in my situation is of utmost importance and there's a chance it's one size too small which at last might be the incentive I need to lose some weight...I did order a new dress.