During my heady dating
days I have been swept off my feet. I’ve also been blown away by that magical
instant connection that leaves one’s head spinning. I have been pursued
and wooed with limousines, dinners and dates at the opera. But The Man Who
Stole My Heart And Eventually Turned Down My Proposal was none of these. His
opening line in a crowded bar after having quietly listened to me winding up
another potential suitor (Italian with a not very good command of English) was: “Oi. You, behave.”
See, there’s a reason
why Romeo and Juliet wasn’t set in Northern England .
Somehow the Yorkshire twang would have failed
to deliver the kind of immortal professions of undying love that leave generation after
generation in tears. Somehow, though, I was mesmerised. As soon as those words
managed to sink in through the Cosmopolitan-induced haze I launched into a
tirade that would have given Loose Women (the English equivalent of the
delightful ladies of the View) a run for their money. The word "chutzpah" came up a lot. He listened. And then asked
when I was going to give him my phone number so that he could take me out for
dinner. I asked if he was circumcised.
Not sure what I was
thinking (definitely not playing it cool, judging by that comment). I could
think of a hundred reasons why we weren't a good match. Thousands. But it was
the first time in a while anyone had asked me out. And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the 6ft tall,
dark, handsome investment bankers with six-packs, I thought… let’s give this a
go. Let’s date outside the box. It’s just a dinner, right?
Oh, he didn’t expect
anything to come out of us either. He was just after a bit of … fun, shall we
say? Yet… somehow, once all that pressure had been removed and nobody was
expecting it… that dinner turned into several dinners and films and art
galleries and weekends away and…an actual relationship.
He’d never been
married. At his age I should have found this alarming. But no- I applauded it.
No bitter feuds with ex-wives! No alimony! No bratty, jealous children! No
baggage! Hah. Turned out there was- and a lot more than my frequent dater
points allowed…
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