Monday, April 23, 2012

You only get one chance to make the first mistake


During my heady dating days I have been swept off my feet. I’ve also been blown away by that magical instant connection that leaves one’s head spinning. I have been pursued and wooed with limousines, dinners and dates at the opera. But The Man Who Stole My Heart And Eventually Turned Down My Proposal was none of these. His opening line in a crowded bar after having quietly listened to me winding up another potential suitor (Italian with a not very good command of English) was: “Oi. You, behave.”
                    
See, there’s a reason why Romeo and Juliet wasn’t set in Northern England. Somehow the Yorkshire twang would have failed to deliver the kind of  immortal professions of undying love that leave generation after generation in tears. Somehow, though, I was mesmerised. As soon as those words managed to sink in through the Cosmopolitan-induced haze I launched into a tirade that would have given Loose Women (the English equivalent of the delightful ladies of the View) a run for their money. The word "chutzpah" came up a lot. He listened. And then asked when I was going to give him my phone number so that he could take me out for dinner. I asked if he was circumcised.

Not sure what I was thinking (definitely not playing it cool, judging by that comment). I could think of a hundred reasons why we weren't a good match. Thousands. But it was the first time in a while anyone had asked me out. And while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the 6ft tall, dark, handsome investment bankers with six-packs, I thought… let’s give this a go. Let’s date outside the box. It’s just a dinner, right?

Oh, he didn’t expect anything to come out of us either. He was just after a bit of … fun, shall we say?  Yet… somehow, once all that pressure had been removed and nobody was expecting it… that dinner turned into several dinners and films and art galleries and weekends away and…an actual relationship.

He’d never been married. At his age I should have found this alarming. But no- I applauded it. No bitter feuds with ex-wives! No alimony! No bratty, jealous children! No baggage! Hah. Turned out there was- and a lot more than my frequent dater points allowed…

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