7 the lucky number

During Pesach seder it's customarily asked: what makes this day different from all the others? Nothing, I'll tell you. NOTHING. Except that today would have been our 7-year-anniversary. 

I wonder if he remembers. I wonder if he cares. And then I wonder why I care if he does. The mere mention of his name still makes me break down. That's how over him I am.

Other than that this days has been just like all the others. Miserable and pointless. Earlier this year I attended a 2-week course for unemployed academically trained individuals- aiming to improve their chances at finding a job. We were repeatedly told to only apply for jobs that we're genuinely interested in and qualified for as the prospective employer can tell if we're really serious. That's what I've been doing. And to no avail.

We were also told to be proactive- to get in touch with the people in charge of the recruitment process to see how we did and what are the things we could focus on and improve to guarantee better chance in the future. And that's what I've been doing. Not that it has been any more fruitful either.

I asked the government agency.I applied for their most junior position (as I already knew it's a tough agency to break into from outside- remember how in my last interview I was actually told how "I should be grateful I'd made the interview at all; seeing how I came from outside the house?") and din't make the interview because they only decided to interview people who already had experience from the agency. HOW THE FUCK DOES ONE GET THAT? Oh, right: those bloody unpaid internships...

I also finally got a reply from the NGO I was dying to work for. There wasn't anything I could have done to improve my chances, quite the opposite apparently. I was considered too qualified for an assistant-level job. But they look forward to hearing from me when they're recruiting people for specialist level jobs. Which I've yet to see them do.

I was also notified I didn't make the next round of the EU high level internship- recruitment process either. "162 applicants, all exceptionally qualified" (oh wait, where have I heard all this before... oh, right: in every single e-mail I get these days!).

What a day. What a %#"*%&¤#!n day. Again.

I've gone from downshifting to downgrading to downright down and out.