Social mobility scooter coming through

What is happening to my life? My neighbourhood is going downhill faster than you can say Alberto Tomba. Previously this part of town was occupied by distinguished pensioners, walking their well-educated pedigree dogs in pearl-necklaces (usually the pearls were seen on the dog-walkers, mind you). These days, ever since that horrid halfway house for homeless drunks and other rejects with no prospects in life was opened the demographics have changed completely. 

Just the other day I encountered 2 very suspicious-looking chaps at the bus stop. Now, I don't employ snobbery unless the situation absolutely warrants it as you know. I am subtlety personified. But toothless grins, unfocused eyes, tattoos reflecting the sort of poor craftmanship that is usually the domain of certain state facilities (average stay 3-4 years until eligible for parole), and open, infected sores down their legs? Tell me that's not suspicious? I didn't mean to eavesdrop (that would just be bad manners) but thanks to their  very audible and very incoherent dialogue I now know where to go for a methadone treatment. Should the mood ever strike.

My storage has been broken into 3 times. And just last week there was a robbery at my local bank! Things did not use to be like this. Even my brother, conveniently located just around the corner, is thinking of upping his sticks.

And last time in Spain The man emerged, from the pool, visibly shocked stating he'd just seen a rat. The size of a donkey. In the truest Hyacinth Bucket manner I try to stay positive and keep telling myself it must have been a pedigree rat with the highest executive standing, seeing how it had the audacity to invade our prestigious residential neighbourhood, but I think there's a chance it was just a filthy rodent. Which means we might not be so prestigious after all...

What is happening to my life? Slowly and surely my middle class trappings are coming undone, revealing a not so pleasant reality. 

And we are not amused.