Kathmandon't

Much to everyone's surprise they guy finally paid me the money for the documentary. And we've already had a meeting about the next project. Not so sure about that one. I've clearly made a good impression on him, but... perhaps just a tad too good? I personally don't necessarily feel cut out for the role he seems to have planned for me.

The Man's job hunt is not going any better either. I've begged him to start looking for another job anywhere in the world. Anywhere. At this point I'm not too fussy. Obviously I'd love for it to be somewhere sunny and civilized (read: within eBay-shipping), where I can whole-heartedly embrace the expat-lifestyle, sitting in charity committees with a Martini-glass glued to my hand. I wouldn't mind continuing trying to work myself, but I can totally see how not doing Pilates in yet another country can be a full-time job in itself. And while I do love many French things (their kisses and fries for instance) the language is not one of them and the thought of finding myself in yet another French-speaking country fills me with le panic.

I know I should feel bad about not being more motivated about my own job hunt. Unfortunately that seems to be like genuine appreciation of Mongolian throat singing: something I'm just not capable of feeling. I know I treat this as something to do to pass the time as I'm waiting to hear from The Man's next assignment. And the subsequent proposal.

I know, I know- this is so not why the suffragists took to the streets or why the feminists burnt all those bras. 

Considering how, after almost 2 years, The Man's company is still chasing that Geneva deal, I told him he should start looking for another job asap- there are no guarantees how long that process would take. And I do not intend to be in this situation in 2 years. I'm so sick of the fact that our time together is even more tightly rationed than nylons during the recession!

I told The Man all this and about the job in Kathmandu. And what did he say? "Well, if that's what you really want, then maybe it's something you should apply for". DUH?! Of course it's not! And that's not what I want or need to her from him! I told him that too; that what I want  him to say is

- that he doesn't want me to go to Kathmandu

- that we'll get through this

- that we'll end up together forever 

- that at the end all this waiting and sacrifices will have been worth it. 

And what did The Man say? "But that's what I've always told you!" To which I had to point out that "no, that's something you've never told me". 

Honestly, his perception of reality seems even more distorted than mine.

But suffice to say, I've decided that Kathmandu - no can do.

Which is probably just as well. I mean,every time you see Nepalese people they're always so.... happy. They always smile. God. Can you just imagine what a country like that would do to my psyche; feeding off sarcasm like lions off those lost baby gnus. And there's no way I' be able to get my hair highlighted there...