I am back. Sun-burnt, sleep-deprived, hormonal, miserable and with a suitcase that smells like an abattoir. But with a fridge full of porky goodness. Chorizo, fuet, iberico ham, tapa negra paste...you name it. Those carnal pleasures Spain has to offer will well and truly be missed. Oh, what a fine Jew I make.
And no, he didn't propose. Luckily (this time) neither did I.
And no, he didn't propose. Luckily (this time) neither did I.
Once again the holiday was over far too quickly and followed the old pattern. First 3 days were wonderful, then things got weird as a result some completely pointless spat over chorizo (yes. We could have been having life-changing conversations about the future of our relationship but we chose to have a row about the size of a package of sausages) and then the holiday started to reach the end and I spent the last 3 days crying my eyes out over the 3 days we'd just wasted on a stupid fight. I never even got to wear the Greek goddess maxi dress as seen on Samantha Cameron!
It's so frustrating trying to cram an entire relationship in just few stolen days. I'm so fed up with this temporariness. I want something more permanent. I want my final solution. I mean, even Hitler could think of one- why can't we?!
And now I'm mocking holocaust. Jesus. Jews don't come any worse than me...
Fortunately The Man's mother had the decency to stay away. She only turned up once, pointing out how he only got in touch with me because of her and how I should be grateful. I invited her for lunch and promised that this time I'd skip the cyanide. The chutzpah on that woman! Whatever happens she'll always have a special place in my heart (and eventually in Hell...)
Remember that job The Man was being interviewed for? The one that would have brought him back to Scandinavia? The one that was supposed to allow us to finally merge our lives together? The company has just introduced a hiring freeze. So... that isn't happening either. I don't know how much longer I can take this.
Is the God conspiring to keep us away from each other? Is the universe seriously trying to tell me something? Perhaps I should start listening?
For the first times ever I'm starting to question whether this relationship is worth all this hassle; whether there's a future for us after all. And let's face it: there are many reasons that say no.
- I don't wan't to be changing nappies now- why would I want that in 20 years time?
- Doesn't everyone prefer a boyfriend that still grows more hair out of his head than say, his ears?
- By the time I reach my sexual peak, his libido will be dead. Mind you, so will probably he.
The Man and me- we're in a weird place right now. With no relief anywhere in sight...
Fortunately The Man's mother had the decency to stay away. She only turned up once, pointing out how he only got in touch with me because of her and how I should be grateful. I invited her for lunch and promised that this time I'd skip the cyanide. The chutzpah on that woman! Whatever happens she'll always have a special place in my heart (and eventually in Hell...)
Remember that job The Man was being interviewed for? The one that would have brought him back to Scandinavia? The one that was supposed to allow us to finally merge our lives together? The company has just introduced a hiring freeze. So... that isn't happening either. I don't know how much longer I can take this.
Is the God conspiring to keep us away from each other? Is the universe seriously trying to tell me something? Perhaps I should start listening?
For the first times ever I'm starting to question whether this relationship is worth all this hassle; whether there's a future for us after all. And let's face it: there are many reasons that say no.
- I don't wan't to be changing nappies now- why would I want that in 20 years time?
- Doesn't everyone prefer a boyfriend that still grows more hair out of his head than say, his ears?
- By the time I reach my sexual peak, his libido will be dead. Mind you, so will probably he.
The Man and me- we're in a weird place right now. With no relief anywhere in sight...
Unfortunately men who have a lot of hair on their heads also tend to have a fair bit of hair growing from their ears and noses and on their backs... At least my male specimen does.
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